THE SOLAR PLEXUS.

Stomach hurt.

Heart hurt.

The poison burns, but the burn pauses the pain that’s really burning me up.

Making me angry, I am hopeless.

And I hope no one notices.

I am in distress.

The only time it killed me to shop for a dress.

A dress all in white so we can lay you to rest.

If I could take a shot for every time I cried about it today, I would probably be dead.

And if you saw me laughing today then that’s a double shot, probably took it straight to the head.

Laughing to cope with what's happening inside me.

It's a spiritual battle.

It's my spirit vs. my ego.

Fighting with myself, I don't want to let you go.

My ego keeps telling me you're mine and you belong to me.

Spirit telling me you’re fine and I don’t own a thing.

My confidence spread thin.

This is a lose/lose situation

There is no way to win.

You know I don't like to lose

You know if I could choose

I'd break all the rules

Just to see you.

Then, just as I fall to sleep

You visit me in my dream.

To tell me that you are happy

And that I need not to worry.

And that the things I dreamt of before are all going to happen,

But what he has planned for me is so much more than I could even imagine.

Then I wake with a sense of hopefulness, I have to push through and refocus.

I cannot stay here in this dark place, I have to go from this.

Looking at a photo of you wearing my hat, reminds me, I have to grow thru it.