I spent all of these years thinking my growth was based on money, cars and clothes. Oh and a house, a house I wasn't even ready for. Since I grew up with very little money and barely a home, I embedded in my head that I just had to have it all because no one could tell me I couldn't. Well, I followed all the rules, I went and got the money, I went and got the car, the clothes and the house... well almost the house.

In December of 2019, I was going to sign for my very first home. "I did that!" I remember thinking to myself. The self that was still dreaming of a condo with a view. The self that was still dreaming to travel. The self that was still not sure if I could keep up with the responsibility of maintaining a home. The self that didn't even want to live in Delaware (where I was buying my home). But buying a home was the right next thing to do, right?! I mean I had it all so why not? I could check that off of my very long list of goals. Well, let me tell you why not. MY MIND WAS NOT READY TO OWN A HOME, I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT RESPONSIBILITY and to say the least, I didn't really want that. Yes, owning a home has so many benefits but if you are not ready that is O-KAY and if you are not ready then not doing something IS the right thing to do. I realized, I was moving backwards from where I really wanted to be just because I could and felt that I needed to but not because I wanted to. 

Just so you understand a little about who I am, I wouldn’t call myself a traditional woman. I don't dream about white picket fences or what color my bridesmaids will wear at my wedding. I don’t dream about having lots of children, though I think these things are beautiful if they do happen for whom they happen for. I just grew up in a world where that was never my main focus. I dream a lot but about other things. I dream about helping those that do not have the support but want to do better. I dream about people digging themselves out of the dirt and their process of learning that there are ways to grow even in darkness. In December of 2019, I told myself, "It is okay to not be ready for a home, the time is not right, it is not what you want. IT IS NOT A RACE MAG, let it go.” And just like that, I let it go. I thought I should have my entire life figured out by 27 years old and that's when I would have my first child. LOL, let's ALL laugh at that. My daughter just turned 12 and I have only lived 29 years of life. Life is unpredictable, you just have to roll with it all.

After realizing the house wasn’t my next move I completely got stuck. Unsure of anything I wanted after that. I had never been unsure or doubted myself in this way. Always have known what I wanted and how I would get it and so I prayed. I prayed a lot. Crazy, everything I prayed for kept taking away from what I had. READ THAT AGAIN. I asked and prayed why? But I kept having these strange dreams or someone would randomly talk to me and the message would be along the lines of, "Because what you are asking for and what you really want, who you really desire to become is requiring a much stronger better version of you and so you have to lose some to gain some and become a much stronger better version of you.” I did not like that answer even though it made so much sense. I still argued with that answer, for a very long time. If you asked me I did everything right, crossed all of my t’s and dotted all of my i’s, I never missed a beat. But now I most definitely get it.

Two years ago, I took a career opportunity that was supposed to enhance my entire life and in some ways it did. I had a lot of nice things. I made more money than I had ever made. I mean I could blink and more money would pop up. But whether you win the lottery or become the president of the United States, if you are not mentally prepared than you will fail in some way. This opportunity was also the most challenging opportunity I had ever taken, it almost broke me in two. I would stay up nights venting to my best friend Jaz and just I remember her saying “Mag, your mind is not aligned with your current circumstance.” Light bulb lol because she was so right. God had gave me exactly what I had asked for - the money that I wanted, the home that I wanted, the family so why was I not completely happy? My new job put me in rooms with lots of people with money, lots of money and I had asked for that but I didn’t understand their language so I found myself being upset all of the time at the way they spoke, how they reacted to things etc. I was so caught up in success in the way that the world sees it that I did not realize I was actually failing because my mind was not where my physical being was at. A ton of success was handed to me all at once and I wasn’t trained to handle it properly. I literally had to grow thru that to learn it. If you want something, study it, meet it face to face, bask in it, learn it then go get it because you could walk into a room full of CEO’s that have your money in their pocket but if you don’t have the knowledge or know how to speak to them you wouldn’t get far.

I left that job, that money, those nice things and now that I had some time away I can tell you I learned how to speak to really wealthy people in their language to a point where I could gain their trust and respect and I can still do it til this day. It's a skill that I have learned but you couldn't put me in those rooms a few years ago because I wouldn't take well to them. I don’t why God wants me to know how to do that but knowing the life that I desire, one day the time will come where I will need to do that in order to get to where I am going and I’m going to kill whatever meeting I’m in because my talk game is HEAVY.

So you see, your mind growth will take you places your material growth can't. The typical don't give a man fish, show him how to fish, mind over material. What is it that you want? Are you taking the actions now to prove that you are ready for it? Are you learning how to be what you would like? You want marriage, are you trying to be a good husband or wife already? Or are you waiting for that actual wedding day to start? Have you taken premarital counseling? You want to marry this person but you haven’t even spoken on how you would like to raise your children. These are issues that arise later in marriages when the honeymoon is over. What if financial issues occur? Maybe they have to live far from you? Or maybe you want to be fit, are you eating right and going to the gym already? You want children, are you preparing your body to carry a child and offering to babysit? Have you taken any counseling to find any underlying issues you may have that may spread to your future children? If you want something know that you can have it, but with all good things comes preparation and the process of learning it which is the hardest part. I am not saying that you can’t learn to be good at these things if they suddenly happen without preparation. I mean I became a mom at 17 and didn't die but would I urge women to prepare better than I did, yes. Simply, I am saying I have learned it is better for you if you do prepare and grow your mind in life to be able handle the big opportunities thrown your way so that you do not lead yourself into struggle and chaos.

I don't know if you are spiritual but when I desire things now, I pray first. I pray that the universe and God sends me the lessons I need to learn and understand how to handle that kind of pressure before I get it. You will think you want something but sometimes these "lessons" come in the package that you don't want, like a lover or a best friend, nonetheless you will learn. Sometimes you will get it and not know what to do with it like a career opportunity. Sometimes the package is really heavy and packed with poor tape making it your job to keep together, like a new life or business venture, nonetheless you will learn. To help you and give you an insight on what I do, I've listed some key things I do below:

  1. Pray & set the intention - let it be known what you want and be specific in good faith that you will get it
  2. Prepare - educate yourself, test the waters
  3. Do the damn thing & Remain consistent - this is the hard part but practice makes perfect
  4. Enjoy the fruits of your labor - you’ve made it! You are ready, go get what you want love!

I pray nothing but success for all of you and have faith that we can make anything happen. Please continue to nurture your minds and know that when you do, you are already more than half way there. Material growth is always temporary if you don’t have the mindset to maintain it. You could lose everything today and turn poor but a rich mind will get it all back with the right mindset & strategy. Build your mind and then all things shall follow. 

Mind growth over material growth everyday loves, I thought I would never say that.